Less Than Perfect

An article by Jason    2 Comments

Last week was tough.

I failed pretty bad, even after all my talk of “giving it up” to God. But hey, I never said it’d be easy!

I was coasting through a busy week, when “work” came up and kicked me in the butt. See, “work” decided he’d had enough of me not worrying about him. “Work” figured he’d find a way around the worry thing, and try to hit me with what I fear most…loss of control.

Yup, that’s me. A guy who feels much better when I have the control. It can be control of a situation, of my surroundings, or part of my day. But last week, “work” TOOK that control away from me. It’s like it did this, just to see what’d I do. And it sent me into a tailspin.

Over the weekend, I began to see my issue. I wasn’t letting Jesus work through me, but I was trying to do the work for Jesus. It’s like I thought I could impress him with my new found excitement.

I thought, with this fired-up faith of mine, I can just DO God’s work. I figured I could help him here on Earth. But what I wasn’t really clued into, was that I’m not the one doing anything. It’s really Him who is working through me. I didn’t intend to, but actually I began blaming “work” for making a mess of my new intentions.

My ability to control “life” slowly spiraled downward. And I went from worry-free to TOTALLY paralyzed.

But, thankfully, through some deep soul-searching this weekend, I began to understand something new. I realized that I actually can’t do ANYTHING. Only He can….through me.

So, I woke up today, got down on my knee’s and asked for wisdom. I told God that it’s His day, and I’m working for Him today, and He can rely on me to do what He wants. I’d accept whatever He had in store, too (just in case it was gonna be another funky Monday).

So today, Monday August 30, 2010, was a little better. My day wasn’t perfect. But at least I didn’t walk into it thinking it was going to be.

Jeremiah 10:23

I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own;
it is not for man to direct his steps.