Feeling Is Believing
Sometimes I think to myself, “people must think I’m crazy”. But beyond an irrational explanation for such an intense feeling, I really can’t explain it better than – “it’s just the way I’m feeling it.”
I have tried to get the words right in my head before making this post over the last few days, but I really can’t seem to get it right. So, I’m doing it anyway.
Now if this is your first read here on the my blog, let me start by saying I was a skeptic. I was a doubter. Just the mere thought of someone walking on water and rising from the dead seemed so nuts to me, that I really never thought I’d be able to accept it. But today, and many days before this, here I am. I’m literally standing on the other side of believing. The truth is, it wasn’t even that hard.
Your thinking to yourself – “this guy’s crazy,” right?
Well, maybe I am. But if this is crazy, I’ll take it.
The day I asked Jesus to come into my life began like any normal day. Sure, I had a lot of anxiety and fear, but after much over-analyzing and over-thinking, I finally did one simple thing, and took a risk. Now keep in mind, taking a risk for a doubter is no easy task. It pretty much defies what being a skeptic of religion is all about (because a skeptic knows better). But when my wife asked, “What have you got to lose?,” it just made sense to try it and see what might happen.
For a person who thinks they know it all, salvation’s a tough thing to grasp……the fact that something you can’t see or touch might actually be real. But what a doubter might not understand is that you “feel” grace. Or at least I do. I feel the Holy Spirit in me. I feel the desire to pray. I feel the need to be with God, to follow Jesus and do whatever I can, in His name. It’s not that I hear Him necessarily, I just feel pushed by some uncontrollable force. There’s a part in the Bible I think speaks well to the person I used to be.
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”
By thinking you’re so smart for talking yourself into “knowing it all,” you’ll never get anywhere but just plain ol’ existing. Existing on planet Earth. Yup, you’ll work for stuff, you’ll live for stuff, you’ll read and try to become smart, and even try to better yourself maybe, but at the end of the day, the world is way too complicated for you to ever really get it all. At the end of your life, you’ll still be the person going through life on Earth and being too “stuck” in your own head.
God didn’t give us the brain power to understand how everything works, and He did it on purpose. We are flawed. We all have problems and issues, but luckily there’s one person you can go to who will make you feel like it’s alright. His name is Jesus Christ and he’s waiting for you. He wants you to be in a relationship with Him and he’ll wait until you are ready.
Just like me, He waited and when I took the risk, and then He opened up the door. It’s like I got plugged into the Matrix and now finally see everything different, the way our Maker wants us to. And I walk around during the day seeing these people going through their busy, worried, stress-filled lives, and I think, “Oh man! It really, truly, doesn’t have to be that way!” But all I can do is tell you how I feel (which is now what I actually believe).
My belief is not built out of book knowledge of the Bible. I have very little knowledge of the Bible actually (but trying to change that as we speak). But when I pick it up now, I feel completely in awe. It’s like it’s alive and it slaps me in the face! I can see why it’s called the “Living Word” now, because for me, it’s totally alive. I actually start reading something and can immediately connect with the words on the page. The weirdest part… it’s saying exactly what I’m feeling! It’s describing so many of the things I’m going through, that it’s insane! It’s mind-blowing and I have no answers for it other than, salvation is real, and Trust is King.
So the next time I talk to a non-believer and the topic comes up, I’d tell them I can’t point them to any specific scripture that has all the answers. I can’t quote from the Bible (just yet at least). I don’t even know all the stories in the Book yet! But what I CAN tell them is that I am living proof that God is real, and what Jesus gives us is real. There’s no denying what has overtaken my mind and my heart.
All I can say is, I now believe.
And the funny part, is that all I had to do, was take a tiny little risk and ask Jesus to come on in. Now that’s pretty cool.
I’ll leave this note with this verse from Corinthians (can you tell I’m reading that right now?!)
“No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him” -
but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.